at there were still some that are there but I can not see them because I have grown so accustomed to them that I just think that they are really me. I went to R.A.W. tonight and i just let everything I had been holding inside go, I broke down and just cried even though I tried not to, I know that sometimes you need to just cry no mater how much you don't want to.I picked up a journal while we were praying and just wrote what i was thinking to God. I wrote that I was confused that I want to be who I really and on the outside not what other people want me to be, that I need to trust that if I let my feelings go that I will feel better, trust that everything will be ok. I yelled in my writing because i did not know how else to express myself and I just let it all go! I have decided that it is time that I really try to be who i am on the inside, that I need to live from the inside out. I challenge who ever reads this to do the same thing.Sunday, March 1, 2009
It's Just One of Those Days
I have finally realized that even if I put on my "good face", my everything is going fabulous i have nothing wring in my life face, that really even though every one thinks that I am ok I am still all beat up inside. I have been thinking about a challenge that my sister Trinity gave all of our youth group for lent, and that is to remove our masks, the things we hide behind or how we act differently around certain people. I tried to think of all of my different "masks" as we call them and I came up with a few and i knew that there were still some that are there but I can not see them because I have grown so accustomed to them that I just think that they are really me. I went to R.A.W. tonight and i just let everything I had been holding inside go, I broke down and just cried even though I tried not to, I know that sometimes you need to just cry no mater how much you don't want to.I picked up a journal while we were praying and just wrote what i was thinking to God. I wrote that I was confused that I want to be who I really and on the outside not what other people want me to be, that I need to trust that if I let my feelings go that I will feel better, trust that everything will be ok. I yelled in my writing because i did not know how else to express myself and I just let it all go! I have decided that it is time that I really try to be who i am on the inside, that I need to live from the inside out. I challenge who ever reads this to do the same thing.
at there were still some that are there but I can not see them because I have grown so accustomed to them that I just think that they are really me. I went to R.A.W. tonight and i just let everything I had been holding inside go, I broke down and just cried even though I tried not to, I know that sometimes you need to just cry no mater how much you don't want to.I picked up a journal while we were praying and just wrote what i was thinking to God. I wrote that I was confused that I want to be who I really and on the outside not what other people want me to be, that I need to trust that if I let my feelings go that I will feel better, trust that everything will be ok. I yelled in my writing because i did not know how else to express myself and I just let it all go! I have decided that it is time that I really try to be who i am on the inside, that I need to live from the inside out. I challenge who ever reads this to do the same thing.
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1 comment:
Wow Lizzie, heavy stuff. Real life stuff. You can't go wrong telling God all about it. And journaling/blogging can help too. Plus, I know you have some good friends and you have a great family. Hang in there, girlie. Sounds like you are finding good ways to grow. There are just lots of owies in growing, aren't there?
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